What Narcissists Do the Moment They Feel You Pulling Away

There is a specific moment in a relationship with a narcissist that illuminates everything about what the relationship actually was. It is not the moment things go wrong — there are many such moments, and they tend to be confusing and disorienting. It is the moment you begin to pull away. The moment you decide, clearly and finally, that you are leaving. What happens in the seconds, hours, and days after that moment is not grief in the conventional sense. It is not even fear of loss in the way most people experience it. It is the activation of a deeply wired survival response — and it follows a predictable sequence that, once understood, removes much of the power it would otherwise have over you.